embarrassment

this is after reading the speech by Zadie Smith
towards the end she says; "It's amazing how many of our cross-cultural and cross-class encounters are limited not by hate or pride or shame, but by another equally insidious, less discussed, emotion: embarrassment."

i thought that is very interesting, for me her whole speech was very relevant because i think i can relate to it somewhat, when i went home over jan plan, i was told that my accent has changed and i sound American, this was said with various tones, some people seemed envious, others disgusted and others mockingly, all of these reactions made me feel embarrassed, so that i tried as much as i could to go back to my Swazi accent, which by the way i have never had because i went to an international school which had its own melange of accents which resulted in an undeterminable accent

and then here at Colby, i have been told that if i do not speak like the American person i will not be taken seriously and no one will understand me, i have found that most of the time am understood and taken seriously, but there are times when am not, and i have to say something with an American accent which by the way my American friends will say is not an American accent
on the same note, when i talk with other international students especially Africans, i automatically, well most times, have some 'African' manner of speech when i talk

so i think i will have to agree with Smith, that embarrassment is definitely an emotion that can characterize (for lack of a word) our cross-cultural encounters, one feels the need to fit in so much so that it is at times even involuntary

am wondering if anyone else in the class has a similar experience or just what people think